Ha Yeah, Like thats Gonna Happen.

by JakeJones Thu Jul 15, 2010 6:30 am

(Jake Jones is sitting in the crowd chilling at a local Pro Wrestling Show. Watching Two Superstars Brawling in the ring. In The Middle of the match he stands up and shakes his head in disgust and starts to leave the arena. As Jake Jones is leaving a Fox Sports Interviewer comes up from behind him and taps him on the shoulder once there outside. Jake Jones turns around and stares at him for a second before the interviewer started to speak.)

Fox Sports: Jake Jones Why did you leave in the middle like that, Didn't you like what you were seeing.

(Jake Jones smiles.)

Jake Jones: No I Didn't like it, I Thought it was utter crap. Reminded me of Damian Williams back in the day and I had to leave because he botched about 5 moves and his performance was making me sick. Any More questions, Mr. Fox Sports.

Fox Sports: Jake Jones, You have moved from Pro-wrestling to MMA really fast and it seems like your turning your back on pro-wrestling, is this true.

Jake Jones: Pro-Wrestling, Mixed Martial Arts. Pretty Much the same, you have whiners, you have bitches and you have a crappy champion who doesn't deserve to be champion. we also have training groups aka stables which no one really cares about. Like for example Jake "Hurricane" Hughes he moved to the hasselhoff training club and no one really gives a crap. I've never really met the guy, but thats probably cause he's 3rd from the bottom of the division and i don't associate with losers like Hughesy.

Fox Sports: Im Guessing you heard about what Ryan Hoffman had to say about you then?

Jake Jones: Yeah I heard it. Nothing has changed on my opinion on him. Hes a fool, Plain and simple. Im never ever gonna like that guy. He's not gonna be a guy im gonna invite over to dinner or even a guy Id give a christimas card too. Plain and simple, I Wanna hurt him. I Wanna break him and Id Even want him to submit to a submission hold thoe everyone knows i hate submissions. You know what, I Think his rating system is stupid, but i'll do it also. Entertaining. hmm naaa. Da Razzas more entertaining and he hasn't even talked yet. Smart, Obviously not if he wants to verse me again. Good Fighter, Nope Just Lucky and his luck will run out soon enough.

Fox Sports: So you think his victory over you was lucky?

Jake Jones: He Has One Match, Wins the championship and all thanks to a lucky punch. After I Purely dominated the fight and he has his number 1 contender match against another rookie, instead of my rematch, he has this. He Complained about how crappy MMA elite 3 was, Well with him in MMA Elite 4 Main Event as the undeserving champion versing the underserving number 1 contender, they both have somthing to prove. The Fans will purely by this ppv to see who will win because this match could go either way, quite frankly.

Fox Sports: He Made Fun of you as well, Saying: "How can kids look up to a guy with no penis." Your Response.

Jake Jones: Well Ryan Hoffman can be as childish as he wants. He can have that kiddie fan base, He Can Have his laugh. By The Last Laugh I Will have when Im the champion and he's back to driving limos and sleeping with underage kids. I Know Apparently Im in his head, Apparently after I said he had A terrorising Paedofile beard, he shaved it off. Good work, Ryan. Good Work, but let me tell you this, Just because you shaved the beard off doesn't mean The Feds aren't going to find you. Its Just a matter of time my friend, till your sharing the soap. But yeah little penis, how can I respond to that, Appropriately without ruining my image and acting like a fool. Well in this exact way, You don't turn me on hoffman neither did that whore of an ex wife. You can get with her if you want, Marry the bitch. Less Money I have to pay, Stupid Brat kids. You want to go to school, Well Fuck Ya.

Fox Sports: Kids are our Future, Jake.

Jake Jones: These Kids are our future, So that kid picking his nose he is going to be cheif of police and that kid feeling himself up, thats our school teachers and that boy in the girls toilets thats bill clinton and that kid in the crowd sitting by himself thats me. You see I was once that kid in the crowd, Better then everyone else, the only person who made sense to me was me. I had better conversations with myself because everyone who talked to me dumbed me down to there level. Damian Williams dumbed me down, Ne and him were Like a Hungry Jacks Coke, He Watered me down till I Was basically as dumb as he was. He Retired as president, in which was the dumbest move of the century, Why when you have power, get rid of it. You don't but like i said, Damians an idiot. 120 Percent out of 100 percent, thats not realistic and a little bit cocky. But Im a good poker player and I Can tell a bluff and Id Say Just by saying that, He knows he's going to lose. Im Sorry Fans of Damian Williams, I guess he will be disapointed you, two weeks in a row.

(Jake Jones Laughs as the Fox Sports Interviewer Shakes his head in disagreement.)

Fox Sports: All Damian Williams wants his respect, He Even Said He'd go on your Show.

Jake Jones: Him on My Show. My Show's an A Rated Show. We Only have The Biggest and The Best. Hes Not big and he's certanly not the best. The Fans Voted Him as Number 1 guest to be On The Jone Zone. But Im Sorry, I Don't want Trash on my show. I Don't want a guy that can't beat anyone on my show. I Don't want The Former President on my show. I Get People Going up in the rankings, not people going down to rock bottom, Like Damian Williams. The Fans Can Vote, But it doesn't matter what the fans want, what matters is what Jake Jones Wants and Jake Jones Doesn't want the human Cancer to touch his shows immune system. I Have a guy I hate coming on the next Jone Zone. The Only Reason I am inviting him is because well, I need him to sign a contract for MMA Elite 5. But don't you worry Damian Williams, Some Day when your a legit contender, we will talk. Just at the moment, you suck.

Fox Sports: So Im Guessing your not gonna Respect Damian Williams, then.

Jake Jones: No, I Ain't gonna Respect him. He's trying to act all nice, all of a sudden. I Don't buy it one second. He's been driven with power for so long and I Think now that he knows he's facing me very soon. He is starting to get very very nervous and that is making him a wuss. I need Damian Williams to toughen up and put up. He's being all sensitive and its pissing me off. Yes I Respect you once till you let me down as a pro-wrestler and you let me down as my boss and your going to let me down in this match. If Im going to hurt you, I Wanna see you last at least two rounds with me. So I Can Do Some permanent Damage to you. As for the hand Shake, as you can see, thats not gonna happen. You'll be lucky if you can wake up when its over. Not only will we get Fight of the Night but I will get KO of the night.

Fox Sports: Jake Jones one more question, Hows Chris brooks.

Jake Jones: .....

(Jake Jones Laughs and Heads towards his limo.)